This week in Get Your Balls Back, we talked about integrity. After working with enough Nice Guys (myself included), I’ve realized that it’s impossible to have integrity while holding onto one of the Nice Guy’s core beliefs: “I’m not inherently valuable.”
Nice Guys often don’t even realize they have that belief. But they constantly live it.
Integrity is about being responsible for your own life, and authentically expressing who you really are. If you don’t believe you are worthwhile, then you will fear letting other people see the real you, and you will hide behind a mask. You won’t have integrity. If you don’t have integrity, your self-respect will slowly erode away, and the masculine happiness you seek will remain out of your reach.
Here’s the truth about you. When I presented these in class, one of my students lamented that he wished he’d been told these things ten years ago.
- You are just as valuable as anyone else.
- Your needs are just as important as anyone else’s.
- Your thoughts, feelings, and opinions are just as important as anyone else’s.
- You have a right to want what you want, and the only reason required is that you want it.
- You are not responsible for other people, or their moods, or their choices, or their problems.
- You are the only one who has a right to judge what is “good” and “bad” for you. Other people’s opinions are only that – opinions.
For this knowledge to do any good, you have to actually believe it. If, when you read the above list, you hear a little voice in your head saying something like, “Those are nice thoughts, but they don’t really apply to me,” then you have some limiting beliefs holding you back from being your best self. The process of changing your beliefs is way too much to cover here, but trust me when I say they can be changed, and it is a life-altering experience. I can walk you through it if you’re truly ready to face and transform your limiting beliefs. Send me a message, and we’ll talk.
Or, if you know someone who, like my student, should have been told these truths years ago, please forward this message to them. These are things everyone deserves to know about themselves. Only when you truly believe them can you become the man you want to be and have the life you want!