A lot of people (mostly women) asked me this at the New Consciousness Expo today, prompted by the tagline on my Expo banner: Changing nice guys into real men. “But we want men to be nice!” they cried. “We don’t want more selfish douchebag men! There are too many of those already!”
When I talk about “nice guys”, I’m referring to a certain kind of man. This man is nice, sure, but he’s nice because he thinks that’s what will make you like him. It’s fake. This man tries so hard to be what he thinks you want, that you never know who he truly is. Often, he doesn’t even know who he is.
There’s nothing wrong with being nice. Many men could definitely stand to be nicer. But a lot of other men are being too nice, while sacrificing their own self-respect and boundaries in the process. This man, the one I call a “nice guy”, needs to reconnect with who he is, and learn that it’s okay to be that person. He needs to regain his confidence, self-esteem, integrity, and masculine power. He needs to get his balls back.
He can still be nice. He can still be compassionate and giving and gentle. Those are wonderful qualities. But they can be balanced by strength and power and passion, all the things that make a man manly. The man who can balance the best of both worlds is the Real Man that we truly need more of.